Today’s post is one I never planned to write, but the situation needs to be addressed and I refuse to stay silent. I am aware that this post will not change the situation (if anything it is more of me venting), but if it can enlighten one person, then it did it’s job.
First, let me start by saying I do not classify myself as a feminist or anything of that nature. And while I 100% support women in all aspects of life, I typically do it in a more silent manner. Today though, I’m going vocal on a situation that literally happens to me on almost a daily basis. Yup, a daily basis.
I’m sure you’re all worked up and wondering what on earth I could be talking about, am I right?!
I am talking about how I feel disrespected, belittled, and how I face a form a sexual harassment on the reg. I am speaking about street harassment, most commonly known as catcalling.
Let me share the definition of street harassment with you: “Street harassment is a form of sexual harassment that consists of unwanted comments, gestures, honking, wolf-whistlings, catcalling, exposure, following, persistent sexual advances, and touching by strangers in public areas such as streets, shopping malls, and public transportation”.
Now that we have established the definition, let me share how I face it and my reasoning behind this post.
I walk to work everyday (it is cheaper than parking, and I like the exercise). Nine times out of ten I am honked at, whistled at, and comments are yelled my way.
Let me just paint a quick picture for you. When I am walking to work (speed walking), I am usually huffing and puffing. I am sweating, and not in a sexy kind of way. I am wearing sneakers with my work clothes, so I look awkward. I am by no means gliding down the sidewalk like a goddess, I can promise you that. I do not look “sexy”, nor dress in any provocative way to get such a reaction. (Let me make it clear, that the photos you see throughout this post are from a photoshoot where I’m essentially modeling a shop-able look for you.)
Every time it happens I am hit with three emotions. First, I’m filled with anger. Immediately, I want to yell back or flick them off. I contain myself though, partly because I am in shock (and they already drove away), and partly because I never know who could be watching. Then, I am hit with a waive of anxiety. Moments ago, I was enjoying my stroll. Now, I am anxious. Worrying about people staring at me and what they are thinking, and wondering if it’s going to happen again. It affects my confidence and comfort level. The last emotion, always goes back to frustration. Why does this happen to me? Why does this have to happen to us girls? It’s not fair and we don’t ask for it. I feel disrespected and I am royally pissed.
Although catcalling is pretty common, I never realized the severity of the problem. Catcalling is not a compliment.
Yesterday evening, something was sparked in me that made me want to write this post. I wanted to bring attention to this matter. On my way home, I was being catcalled by this guy on a bike. This time was very different though, because he turned round and followed me. He kept saying I was beautiful. My heart was racing, and at this point I had “911” already dialed on my phone. It was broad daylight and the road was busy with traffic from people getting off of work. Those factors were somewhat reassuring. I didn’t want to be rude because I didn’t want him to assume I was a “bitch” and get nasty with me, but if I am too friendly then he would think I’m “into it”. I really couldn’t win. I chose to quickly say thanks, put a pep in my step and sprinted away.
I was fine, nothing physically happened. But the situation made me uncomfortable. I felt like I wanted to cry. The situation made me think about street harassment as a whole.
I am not going to stop walking to work. I am not going to give these men (if you can even call them that) an opportunity to make me feel inferior. I am not going to alter my life or schedule because they feel the need to disrespect me. I am strong, and I am brave.
I aspire to one day live in a world where we can bring an end to women being harassed while simply going about their daily lives. I hope this post brought some awareness to how prevalent street harassment is. It honestly can happen to anyone, no matter the time of day or what you wear. I simply had to get this matter off my chest.
Thanks for reading<3
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