This post deals with a very real but heavy topic. If you have ever dealt with Domestic Violence, you may find this post triggering.
“Now I’m taking back my life today. Nothing left that you can say, ‘Cause you are never gonna take the blame anyway
Demi Lovato
A year ago, I opened up and shared one of my most personal posts to date (See Here). Writing it down made me relive that pain all over again. I felt it was time to get it off my chest to really move on and let it go. The overwhelming response from you left me speechless. Your stories that you shared with me privately are forever engraved in my mind. My heart broke to see that many women reaching out to me to share their experiences.
Your response made me realize there are so many more people than I could have imagined that have been through Domestic Violence. So many strong women who feel they need to stay silent.
I was one of those for a while. I felt so ashamed that I let it continue for as long as it did. I felt confused as to why this was happening to me, and why I still loved that human with every fiber of my being. I felt like people would think I was making it up to be dramatic, or for attention.
Once the physical bruises fade (if there are any at all), there is really nothing you can show as proof.
This platform I’ve created for myself has really empowered me. I hear my own voice now. I ignore the opinions of others a lot more than I would have. I wanted to find a way to help others, even if it was small. So, that is what I did. I told my story.
A year later, I am still so glad I did. I have zero regrets. I don’t care about any judgement. I feel like it helped me personally close that chapter of my life permanently. Even though the relationship had ended 9 years ago, it’s amazing what trauma can do. Yes, trauma. Domestic Violence will mentally fuck you up. Someone was mentally conditioning me to feel a certain way and believe certain things. He may have thought I’d forget all those times, but I remember.
When I look at my reflection present day, I see a new person. I see thicker skin. I feel stronger than ever before. I’m taking back my life.
I needed to lose you to find me
Selena Gomez
Someone asked me last year if I was scared he would read my post. My answer is no. Everyone needs a reality check sometimes. I was very respectful not to use his name or personal info. I wrote my experience in a way that was as respectful to his family as I could have been. If he cares, I haven’t heard about it. Honestly, I don’t really care about offending him.
Recently, I learned some very alarming info. When I moved to Charleston, someone shared something with me that left me feeling paralyzed. I was told that South Carolina is among the nation’s deadliest places for women. This is due to the states failing efforts to stop domestic violence. The state came in #6 in the rate of women killed by men in the latest ranking from the Violence Policy Center. LIKE WHAT?! How can this be happening? The fact that this has been an on going problem for over a decade is so messed up. Why are there no efforts in trying to stop this?
After learning this, I reached out to My Sister’s House. My Sister’s House is a nonprofit Organization in Charleston, SC. They provide services, programs, and resources to empower domestic violence victims and their children to live free from abuse. They operate an emergency temporary shelter at an undisclosed location. They also have a 24 hour crisis line. I was going to collaborate with them this month, but it fell through. Next year, I hope to participate in their events.
If you don’t live in the Charleston area, you are still not alone in this. You can find resources at NCADV.
Thank you again for all your kind words. If you want to read last years post, see below.
xx Courtney