Hi babes! A new decade is literally a day away! Like, what?!
Like most people, this has caused me to really take a step back and reflect. Not only did I stop to remember the last 10 years of my life, I have also really focused on this past year as well.
The year 2019 was full of realization. For me, it was the year of the learning curve. Not only does this pertain to my blog, but also in my personal life.
Let’s just dive right in and start off with something deep.
In 2019 I took the plunge (again), and randomly moved to Charleston with my sister. This move has not been what I had imagined. I have been struggling. I have finally realized that just simply moving to a new state, and creating a new life doesn’t necessarily make things different. It won’t always make you feel happy. What does happiness even mean to me? I have pondered this a lot over the last few months. The answer isn’t always simple. I have found though that happiness must first come from within.
Transitioning off that, this past year has really given me clarity on my mental health. My anxiety. My Depression. The steps I needed to take. And while I am still in the beginning stages of this process, I’m really looking forward to 2020 and the progress I know I will make.
This past year I learned about boundaries. I have learned to stand up for myself. I have a voice and my feelings are valid regardless of how others may perceive them. I will continue to carry this voice with me not only through 2020, but for life.
Twenty Nineteen showed me the true meaning of friendship. I have realized the quality of people I have in my life immensely outweighs the quantity. Since moving to Charleston, I have been more selective when it comes to making friends. I was down on myself for a while because I found it challenging to make friends here. It was honestly making me depressed. I now see it in a new light though. I see I was just changing and growing as a person. I have learned if I don’t click with people, it’s okay. I don’t need to force friendships whether old or new. I have found what I value. I have learned to move forward.
This year, I figured out who I really was. I took time to explore different facets of my life. I decided to be more open with myself. My new motto for 2020 is ” Be You. Do You. For You”.
In 2019, I finally got answers on my health! Yay! We finally solved the mystery of my hand tremor and rapid heart rate I have been struggling with for almost 4 years. I’m on the right track and hopefully one day I won’t have to be on thyroid medication anymore. I am truly just grateful to have an answer.
Even though some pretty awesome things happened in 2019, my family suffered the loss of my Grammy. The devastation the loss of a loved one can leave behind is something one can never predict. I know she is not in pain anymore, and I now see she is in a better place. This loss made me really value my family more than I have in the past. It made me learn to put down my phone and be more present when with my family. To savor moments. It made my cousins and I closer. When I am home, I make more of an effort now for family time.
Jumping into my blog, 2019 was a good year for the most part! I will say I did go through a rough patch with blogger that I chose not to be too vocal about (still debating whether or not to release that post I wrote). Regardless of the lack of engagement and the personal struggles, I got to meet over 3K more of you! That is how many new faces join my community! Like, AHH! I feel so lucky. To my new followers of 2019, I’m so happy to have you apart of Smile Darling! I can’t wait to see what 2020 brings us! To my OG followers, thank you for being here with me another year! Love you to pieces.
Every one of you has paved the path of Smile Darling, and you continue to do so! As I look back on 2019, I am so thankful for the opportunities presented to me and given to me because of YOU. That’s right! You make this dream of mine possible. Your support is what keeps this going.
I had some pretty awesome collaborations this year because of you. I worked with brands, I used to only dream about.
While the actual commission this year was lower than last year, I got so much more out of what we are doing and creating with Smile Darling! I will forever cherish the experiences over things. The experiences you have given me make me feel grateful and keep accountable. In 2020, I will be sure to carry this authenticity and transparency with me. After all, you keep me going.
I just know 2020 will be a good one in all aspects of my life. I can’t wait to have you guys there. I love you! Have a Safe & Happy New Year. Cya in the new decade.
xx Courtney Fabiano
