“The only choice I made was to be myself”
I told myself I would never publicly announce my “coming out”. While I share a lot online, I wanted to keep this part of my identity safe from the opinions and judgement of others.
But, here I am for the first time screaming from the rooftops (Or, an online social media post- pretty much the same thing) that I’m queer!
For 28 years of my life I identified as ”straight”. Then, 4 years ago I started to notice this attraction I had towards women. It was definitely more than an, “Oh, I think that girl is really pretty”. It was actually more like an, “Oh, I think that girl is really attractive and I want to hook-up with her”.
When I was still living in Charlotte, NC I would dabble on the “woman seeking women” side of the dating apps. I would always swipe left and tell myself I was just looking. Once I knew I was moving to Charleston, I promised myself I would truly give it a chance. I dated my first girl in April 2020 and the rest is history! I am super attracted to women and I have been exclusively dating women for over 3 years.
How I personally identify is still a gray area for me. For a while, I was identifying as bisexual. While I do find men to be sexually attractive, I really have zero desire to hook-up with them at this point in time. I have not been intimate with a man in almost 4 years. I do refer to myself as being a lesbian, but ultimately I feel identifying as queer is more suitable. I feel the definition of being “queer” is an all encompassing umbrella term that describes sexual and gender identities other than straight and cisgender.
After 3 years of identifying as queer, in March of this year I decided to “come out” to my brother, Mom & Dad. My sister already knew for a few years because we live together in Charleston. I was reallyyy apprehensive to tell my parents. I knew their love for me wouldn’t change, but I was unsure if they would truly understand. I was concerned they would cut me off for a while, or need space away from me. The conversation was brief, but my parents immediately supported me. My Dad even said he could tell and knew from stuff on social media. They told me that they only want me to be happy and live life to the fullest!
I’ve been extremely fortunate with my “coming out” journey. My relationship with my parents and siblings didn’t alter – they still love me unconditionally. My friends are some of my biggest supporters! They cheer me on and constantly ask for dating life updates. I know for a lot of LGBTQ+ that is not necessarily the case. Which is why I didn’t feel the need to draw any sort of attention outwardly for a long time.
I have always been an ally of this beautiful community. To be a part of it now for 3 years has been an impactful journey. There’s been a lot of self- growth, discovery, and reflection. I can truly say I love the person I am. I am proud of my ability to love in all capacity’s. I have gone through such a transformational phase, and I’m finally comfortable enough to share it with all of you. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!
xx Courtney